Royal Pains
by Lady Date
Summary: So far Heero's met 2 princess, and here come 3 more to deal with. Warnings, OOCness and Relena-bashing
1. Meeting Chang Wufei

Duo: Where are we? 

Quatre: And why are we dressed funny? Duo! You looks like a girl!! 

Trowa: I think this is another fanfic. 

Duo & Quatre: Uh-oh 

Heero: From what I can tell this particular author just turned 13 years old. (Typing on laptop) 

Wufei: If their that young, it can't be that bad, could it? 

Lady Date: Hello boys, ready to be tortured?( Evil grin) 

Heero: What was that you were saying about not be that bad Wufei?( hitting Wufei on the back of the head) 

Wufei: Owww!( Rubbing the back of his head) 

Lady Date: Oh yeah, Wufei, Duo, & Trowa, you guys are girls. "^_^" 

Wufei Trowa Duo: What!?? Girls! Are you insane!?!? 0_0; 

Lady Date: Slightly. And yes, your girls, so get over it! You don't have to worry to much I've read enough fanfics to know what I'm doing. (Evil look) 

Duo: And their probably twisted, just like you are! 

Lady Date: I am not twisted!! Just a little screwy. 

G-boys: That's what worries us!( backing way slowly) 

Lady Date: Lets get this thing started. Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me, it belong to Sunrise or Bandai, so don't sue me. ^_^ 

Wufei: Thank Gods! 

Lady Date: Hush you or I'll pair you this Treize! 

Wufei: (suffers from sever noise bleed) 

Lady Date: Now all of you get going before I turn all of you into girls!!! 

G-boys: (scatter like chickens) 

Lady Date: How every sad....   
  
Royal Pains Chapter 1: Met Chang Wufei   
"Mother how much longer?" Said a impatient young Heero look at his mother sorely. His light brown hair shining in the sunlight from outside and his cobalt eye were fill with sleepiness, boredom, and aggravation . "How much longer until we reach China?" he whined again in a lower more aggravated voice.   
Heero was the second oldest of the children in Yuy family of Japan, he was only about 15 or 16 years old, and not to mention the only boy of 39 sister only one of which was older that him. His mother Queen Serenity was a very pretty woman with long silver hair and soft baby blue eyes. His oldest sister, Selene, looked identical to his mother, only difference was that his sister's eyes were bright blue instead of baby blue.   
"Oh, just calm down and enjoy the ride Heero" snapped his sister quite irritated with his fidgeting and attitude . "It's only been an hour"   
"One hour to long if you ask me!"   
"I didn't ask you!!"   
"Now stop that you two, we will be there shortly" said their mother silencing the both of them.   
"Heero, are you that excited to meet your fiancee?"   
"No I just want to get this over with, and she's not my fiancee yet," he said very bluntly starting to drifting off to sleep 

****************************************************** hour later... 

  
"We've arrived children!" shouted Serenity to Heero and Selene who were still in the carriage. Heero, who had just woken up, stepped out first and help Selene out. Once they got a good look at the palace they were shock at how large it was, about at as big as their palace in Japan. It had large white towers and domes, beautiful gardens and a medium sized pond of fish in the front. Heero was mesmerized by the pretty pottery and flowers, loved nature's beauty more than anything else. Then he notice a young Chinese girl, about the same age he was, poke her head from behind one of the large purl doors.   
She had a long black pigtail that ended a little past her shoulders, large velvet brown eyes, and a royal red Chinese style dress with a black dragon and white roses on it. Heero thought that she look familiar, but he could not quite put his finger on where he had seen her be for.   
The girl fully came outside to greet them, stopped a foot in front of them, bowed politely and introduced herself in a soft melodic voice. "My name is Chang Wufei it is a pleasure to finally meet you." That was it! That was all Heero needed know to figure out who she was. Heero had met her at one of his mother's banquets.   
"My name is Heero Yuy. It a pleasure to meet you again Ms. Chang" he said with a smirk on his face. At first Wufei looked a little confused, then she realized who he was and where she had met him before.   
"Your that boy from that banquet I went to in Japan 3 years ago , aren't you?" she asked rather shocked. "I thought you were a servant or something"   
"I'm not a servant, I'm the prince, the one and the same" he stated, quite proud of himself and his reputation. Selene hit him in the back of the head twice. Once for being rude, and the other for being arrogant . Heero looked at Selene for a moment and blew a raspberry at her, then looked back at Wufei and smiled. His sister smirked a little. 'Now there's a first,' she thought, 'Heero actually smiled at a girl that isn't me or mom. Usually we have to make him smile. This girl might actually have a chance with him.'   


End of Chapter 1   


Heero: Not bad for you for a 13 yr. old. 

Wufei: My character doesn't seem that bad. 

Lady Date: SEE! It's not that bad! Oh yeah, Wufei gets to be the tomboy. 

Duo: And what does that make Trowa and I? 

Lady Date: Trowa acts a little more lady-like than Wufei does, and Duo, you act like my best friend, you hate getting dirty and you always wear dresses. 

Trowa: At least I still act a little like a boy. 

Quatre: That would be a vast improvement on Duo's part. 

Everyone except for Duo: (snickers os smirks) 

Duo: THAT IS NOT FUNNY!!!!! 

Lady Date: You guys stop picking on Duo! (trying, in vain, not to laugh) And to think this is my first try. 

G-boys: What!? 0_0 

Lady Date: I'll explain later. Anyway, what will happen to Heero while he's in China, does Wufei actually have a chance with Heero, and what other torturous thing does the author have in store for the G-boys? Find out in Chapter 2. This one might have you rolling out of you seat, or thinking I've gone off the deep end. Bye ~_^ 

Heero & Wufei: We don't like the sound of that! 


	2. Two's a Crowd

Lady Date: Hi people! It's me again I have finally got around to write writing Royal Pains II. 

Heero: (rolls eyes) Here we go again. 

Lady: (glares at Heero)What it is that supposed to mean, Spandex Boy? 

Heero: (smirks) Your one to talk. At least I don't weigh 200 hundred pounds. 

lady: (pulls out scythe from back) Omae O Korosu! 

Heero: (Smirking Deeper) I'd like to see you try! 

Quatre: (pops head in from behind door rubbing eyes) What all the yelling about? And what ever it is keep it down, I'm trying yo take a nap. 

H & LD: (turn to Quatre) No! 

Trowa: Can we just get on with the fic? You two are giving the rest of us a headache. 

Lady (stops glaring at Heero and Quatre and smiles at Trowa) Okay. I've decided to make one slight character change. 

Wufei: (rolls eyes at author) What, did you decide to make Quatre a girl after all? 

Lady: (beams) BINGO! 

Quatre: (looking pitiful) Why do I have to be a girl? 

Lady: (pats Quatre on the back) I thought it would be more fun if Heero had more girls to deal with. That, and you look like a girl. 

Quatre: I do not! 

Heero: (glares at Author) Why do you insist on torturing me. 

Lady: (smile sweetly) Because it's fun. (Look goes from sweet to ominous) Now, will someone Please do the disclaimer and Recap, before I end up hurting one of you which I don't want to do. 

Duo: (pops up behind Wufie) I'll do it. Lady Date doesn't own Gundam Wing or any other Characters she uses, so don't sue her. Besides you won't get much any- Ow (get elbowed in the ribs by Lady) Anyway, in the last episode Heero made it to Honk Chong, China and met the first of his four possible brides, Wufei Chang. 

Heero: Hold it! You mean to tell me that I end up marrying one of them! 

Peaches: Yes. Now on with the Fic.   
  
  


Royal Pains 

Chapter II: Two Is Company 

It was dark in the dinning hall. With the little light, the only things Heero could see were his sister on his left, Wufei on his right, and the plate in front of him. Heero found himself looking at a plate of fried rice, broccoli and beef, and something Wufei called Lemon Chicken. 'Doesn't look like chicken if you ask me,' he thought. 'Look more like fried dough.' 

"Is some thing wrong with you food Heero?" Heero was brought from his thought by Wufei's quiet, but concerned, voice. To Heero, Wufei seemed to be nice, not a very lady like or easy to keep up with girl, but still a nice girl. 

"Nothing." Heero said with a light blush on his cheeks, when he realized that every one at the table was staring at him. "How on earth do you use these chop stick anyway?" He asked trying to avert attention away from him. For Some reason Heero seemed to be out of it more than usual ever since he made to China, and he also seemed more nerves as well. 

"You put one in between your thumb and index...." Though she should've, Serenity didn't pay any more attention to Wufei after that. For once her thought turned to her brother, it would take mental dynamite to bring her back to reality. 'Why on earth is he being to jumpy, this isn't like him. Come to think of it, Heero as never blush before, well, not since I pulled down his pants in public, but we were three year old then.' 

Just then there was a loud boom of the gong indicating that another guest had arrived in the place, and Heero was hoping it wasn't another girl. Unfortunately for him, his luck ran out and it was a girl, for just walking in was a girl not much shorter then he, she had a long Chestnut braid that ended at her knees, large violet eyes, and she wore a endless indigo gown that long sleeves and a plunging bus line. 

"Announcing Her highness, princess Duo Maxwell of the United States." For some reason that bishop was getting on Heero's nerves, especially when he blows the darned horn in his ears. 

"Duo!" Wufei immediately jump up from the table to give her friend hug, and to see how she was faring. 

"Wufei!" Duo exclaimed as she hug Wufei. "You haven't change a bit. You still the biggest tomboy in all of China?" 

"You are still the most lady like person I know?" Wufei joked as she pulled away to take a look at Duo. "You've grown. No fair, your taller than me now. " 

"Uhmmm....... Excuse me, but-" Heero said before he was cut of by Wufei. 

"Oops, sorry Heero, I forgot you were there," Wufei apologized. ". It's just that I haven't seen Duo for really long time and she is one of my best friends." 

'Duo huh?' Heero wondered. 'Why does that name sound familiar?' 

"Mother would it br alright if Heero, Duo, and I go into the garden?" 

"Yes," and answered Wufei's mother. "But only if you stay out of trouble, and that goes for you to mister Yuy." she finished in something that sounded close to amusement. 

Heero gulped at the memory of the amount of trouble he got in at the banquet those few years ago. "I put my sling-shot away years ago Mrs. Chang," he said jokingly. "I won't be pegging and any one with a tack." 

"I hope not." she answered. Heero was more than glad that Wufei's mom could take a joke. 

************************************************************* 

Once out in the garden, Wufei and Duo sprinted for a near by tree leaving a confused Heero standing by the door. 'Girls,' Heero thought, 'Their all weird. And boy, can they talk! They sound like the mice that Zero and Wing catch!' (Author's note: Wing is Heero's pet falcon, and Zero is Heero's pet cat) 

Duo turned to look at Heero and whispered to Wufei "Are you sure he's the one. I mean he seems a little, well, clue less." 

"I know," Wufei answered. "But be patient he's a very nice guy, a bit quiet and lost in thought, but still nice and polite. Besides we have to what for Trowa and Quatre to get here before we can test him." Wufei was in fact very found of Heero. Earlier that day, Wufei found out that Heero was the only boy she knew that could pass her up in a race. Heero was not like the other boys she'd met, one that picked at her because she was a tomboy. Heero on the other hand thought that girl should act a little more like guys at times. 

"Well if you say so." Duo retorted. "But do you still think he's mad at me for the whole tack accident? 

"No." Just then Wufei got struck with a idea. "Hey Duo come here, I know how we can have some fun with Heero." 

Seeing as how Wufei want to send some time with her old friend, Heero started to wander around the garden and soon settled himself under a tree. The garden was filled to the sweet sounds of exotic birds, small animal scurried about the grass. He was about to douse of when he felt some thing crawl up his up his leg. He looked down to see a large monitor lizard sitting on his there looking up at him. 

"What the- Ah!" was he got out before the lizard bit into the tender part of his thigh. 

"Heero, what's the.. EEEEEK!!!" screeched Duo that the top of her lungs when she caught sight of the lizard. 

Heero tried to pry the lizard's jaw off his leg, but it only tightened it's grip at his attempts. 

Wufei instantly speed toward her to guest, and almost immediately recognized the lizard as her pet, Nataku. "Nataku, let go of Heero's leg. It's not polite to bit and scare our quests." Wufei shouted at the lizard. 'I thought I put him in my room. Oh well, at least he didn't bit Duo.' Once Nataku let go of Heero's right leg, Wufei grab it's tall and dragged it in front of Duo, who at this point was unconscious on the ground. Once Nataku was safe in it's cage, Wufei turned her attentions to her two friends. 

"So that over sized alligator Lizard is your pet?" Ask Heero in a slightly annoyed voice. His leg was bleeding pretty badly to begin with, he just made it worst by trying to stand up. 

"Sit down Heero. He's not a alligator lizard, he's a mangrove monitor, and yes he is my pet." Wufei said she as rolled Heero's pant leg up so she could bandage leg "Sorry he bit you like that. He doesn't take to nicely to male strangers." 

"That's alright," Heero said in a usually timid voice. "My pet cat and falcon are the exact same way when I get lady visitors." He finished with a laugh. 'Well maybe not all girl are just chatter boxes' Heero thought as both he and Wufei laughed at their pet protectiveness.   


Lady: (smiles sweetly) That wasn't so bad, now was it? 

Heero: (uses death glare on author) Yes! 

Duo: I guess it wasn't that bad. (starts whining) But why do I have to a girl? 

Wufei: Stop whining Maxwell. 

Lady: Because you care too much about your hair, just like most girls I know. 

Quatre: Including you? 

Lady: Nope, I just take 2 minutes to brush it out and go on with life. Hey Trowa, why don't you do the preview. 

Trowa: (shrugs) What ever. What kind of test are Wufei and Duo talk about? What kind of fun does Wufei have in store for Heero? Between Quatre and me, who will the next to be turned in to girl? Find out in Chapter III: Three is a Crowd 

Lady: Later. 


	3. Four's a Crowd and Men are Stupid

Lady Date: Hello! It's me!

Heero: Oh no, here she comes!

Duo: The horror! The Horror!

Wufei: Run for your life.

Quatre: Save us! Save us!

Lady Date: (look at all GW-boy except Trowa and sweatdrops) And people call me a drama queen.

Trowa: And to think I have to see these people on a daily basis. (starts crying)

Lady Date: (pats Trowa on the back) There, there, it'll be ok. We could always send them to visit the god of Jurai's aunt.

Duo: Whose the God of Jurai's aunt?

Lady Date: That for me to know and you to find out later.

Heero: Why later?

Lady Date: (glares at Heero) Either you drop it or I'll drop kick you!

Heero: Eep! (Ducks and hides)

Wufei: Heero's afraid of a girl! How weak!

Lady: (hits Wufei with a stick) Don't make fun of Hee-chan. I admit we don't get along but his is still my second favorite MALE anime character.

Trowa: Whose your First?

Lady: It between you and Rowan from Ronin Warriors.

Quatre: (start crying) What about me?

Lady: You, Heero, Cye, and Sage ( from Ronin Warriors) are my second favorites. As for Wufei and Duo go, Ryo and Yuli(from RW) are just before Duo ('cause he reminds me of myself) and Wufei is dead last because he says women are weak.

Wufei:( shrugs) Why would this offend you, you're not a woman.

Lady:(shudders with anger and start growling throw teeth) what did you say Chang?!

Wufei: I said you're not a- ( dodges swing from No Daichi)

Lady: Die!!!!!!!!! (chases Wufei with No Daichi)

Heero: (duck head out from Hiding place) Is it safe?

Duo: Yeah, she's to busy trying to kill Wufei.

Trowa: Hey Quatre, since Lady Date is . . . um . . . preoccupied, why don't you and I do recap 

and disclaimers.

Quatre: Ok. You first.

Trowa: Fine. Lady Date doesn't own any anime she uses. So don't sue her. You won't get any money anyway.

Quatre: in ch two, Heero got to meet an old acquittance, Duo Maxwell, and got bit by a big lizard.

Wufei: (runs behind door and Locks himself in a room)

Lady: (catches breath and smiles at Trowa and Quatre) Thank you for Doing that you two.

Q & T: Your welcome.

Lady: (look angrily at door one last time then smiles) On with the Fic

Royal Pains

Ch. 3: Four Is Company And Men are Stupid

Heero walked though the halls of the Daos palace, more like limped considering that Nataku had bitten his leg so hard it broke the bone, so he ended up in a cast. He had been to the library and spent most of his time watching Duo and Wufei play or keep an eye of for Nataku. Basically being board. On this afternoon, Heero was looking out the window, then something caught his attention. A girl in a green French style suit, had emerald eyes, milk chocolate colored hair with part of it covering the right side of her face, and the rest went down to her knees. She seemed to be a few inches taller than he was. Which was unusual for most women, considering he was 5'7. He could tell just by looking at her that she was European. From the type of clothes she was wearing, to the style and color of her hair, she radiated English or French.

"Hey," He called loud enough for her to hear. "Are you one of the princesses I'm supposed to met?"

"Yeah, I think so," she answered. "Are you Heero?"

"Yes, where are you from?"

"France."

"Why don't you come up here?"

"Ok." She started to run for but stopped. "May my friend Quatre come as well?"

"I would like to meet both of you."

"What room are you in?"

"The Library."

"See you in a moment."and with that the tall girl dashed off. 

As he watched her go, Heero couldn't help but laugh. 'What a strange young lady. She looked so solemn. I wonder what is bothering her' He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Trowa come in.

"Hey, are you conscious?" she asked waving her hand in his face.

"Huh! Oh, I'm sorry about that." 'I need to be more aware of my surroundings,' he thought to himself. It wasn't the first time he had got himself so lost in thought, for he was in the same spot when Nataku bit him.

"That all right you looked like you were concentrating on whatever it was you were thinking about hard." Said a softer voice from behind him. When he turned around to a tiny little girl. Facially she looked that same age as Heero, maybe a few months younger, but the rest of her look as though it belonged to a twelve-year-old. She was wearing a light blue long sleeve dress that went down over her feet. Her shin length hair was so light, Heero thought it was platinum, and her eyes were ocean blue.

"And you would be Quatre?" was all Heero could manage.

"Yes," to Heero her voice was that softest thing he had eve heard. "And you must be Heero Yuy. I've quite a few things about you"

"Like what?" Heero didn't think he had a reputation with any of the girls, except Wufei.

"That you were the one who shot that tack at Lady Amadeus." Trowa retorted with a snicker. "It took a lot of guts to pull a stunt like that off."

"And, here I thought Wufei and Duo were the only ones who knew about that," Heero replied with a blush. "Yes, well, it wasn't all that great once my mother realized I was the one who had done it."

"I bet," Quatre giggled. In the distance they hear a high-pitched whistle. 

"That would be Duo and Wufei," announced Trowa, "We have to go. It was a pleasure meeting you Mr. Yuy. Come along Quatre." And with that Trowa disappeared though the door.

"Hey, wait for me!" Quatre shouted. "It was nice meeting you." She bowed and ran after Trowa. 'I hope he passes our tests, he seems so nice.' She thought as she caught up to Trowa.

Trowa seemed to be thinking the same thing. 'There's some thing about him,' she thought. 'Wufei said he was thoughtful, but there's more to him than that.'

"Trowa?"

"Huh?" Trowa, like Heero, had a tendency to forget where she was and where she was going.

"You just past the garden."Wufei said calmly.

Trowa turned around to find that she was a good 6 yds. from the garden entrance. "Oops." She gave a cheeky grin and walked back. "Sorry" she apologized.

"You are as bad as Heero, not paying attention to a thing around you when your in thought" snorted Duo. Despite their resentment toward men, Duo and Wufei had become fond of Heero over the past few days. 

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Trowa asked in amusement. Quatre smiled. It was rare for Trowa to talk a lot and, rarer still to hear he laugh. It warmed her to see her friend, almost sister, to smile.

"Considering that's how Nataku got a hold of his leg," Wufei smirked "and how you just walk past the garden gate, again, I'd say bad"

Trowa stalked back to the gate, clearly, if only to Quatre, annoyed with herself. Duo giggled and Wufei merely shook her head.

"So what are we going to do about Heero?"Quatre asked taking the focus off Trowa.

"Well we're doing to test him, duh!" Duo spoke sarcastically.

"Yes, but after his leg has healed, we can put him in any danger." Wufei said monotonously. 

"Put who in any danger?" called a male voice from the bushed behind Quatre. 

"Yes, who is going to be you little play thing this time?" came a second voice in the sam direction as the first.

"That's none of your concern, Treize." Wufei snorted in disgust.

"Nor yours Zechs" Shouted Trowa. The girls were not pleased with the presence of two of their former suitors.

Emerging from the bushes first was a tall young man, with white hair that went down to his thigh. His blue eyes darting between Trowa and Quatre. "Greetings Ladies," Said with a polite bow. Trowa turned her nose up at him and turned way, while Quatre had ignored him from the start. "Now is that any way to treat your future husband?"

"Yes, your girls should be obedient to us, as we are going to be your husbands after all," continued Treize. At That Trowa turned around and slapped him so hard the sound scared the birds into flight, and resonated throughout the Gardens.

"There is no way in HELL that I will marry you and if either of you so much as bend a hair on Heero's head, I will personally slit your throats" Trowa spoke with deadly sternness, holding the dagger she always carried with her and pressing it to Treize's neck

"No need to get touchy, Trowa" Treize said calmly, smirking despite his situation and the pain on his left cheek. "But you aren't the only ones in the running for prince Heero you know . . . " Trowa only pressed the blade closer into Treize's skin.

"That enough Trowa," Quatre said in a whisper. "We don't need any unnecessary blood shed" Even though the others could barely hear it, Trowa did, and reluctantly backed down.

The six remained in silence until the sound of foot steps snapped them from the unknown spell.

"What's going on out here?" It was Heero. He had heard the sound of Trowa slapping Treize and came to investigate.

"It's nothing for you to worry yourself about." Quatre said with a smile as if the conversation of moments ago had never happened. " Will you escort Duo and I to the water garden, please?"Heero nodded and extended one arm to Quatre and the other to Duo. As they went, Heero limped in his cast to get to the water garden, he forgot his crutches, so they stopped by the library to get them.

Once they were a safe distance way, Trowa and Wufei glared at the two young men. Wufei broke their silence.

" What do you mean when you said that we weren't the only one in the running for Heero?"

Zechs walked over to Wufei and lifted her chin to look at him, she quickly shook the hand way. "My dear Wufei," Zechs smiled leaning down close, their lips almost touched, "that is a surprise." And with no further warning, he kissed Wufei, taking her gasp as an opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth. Wufei pulled way, punching him, and sending backwards into Treize.

"How Dare you!" Wufei spat on the ground. She was about to lunge on Zechs when Trowa stopped her.

"Don't Fei," she said dryly. Her once emerald green eyes, which were filled with peace, had become emotionless pools of green/gray. "We don't need to waste our time here. Let go join Quatre and Duo." With that Trowa turned to leave and stopped at the garden entrance. " And I meant what I said" Trowa's coat flowed as she left with Wufei not far behind her.

"Things are going to get interesting over the few months, don't you think Treize?" Zechs asked rubbing his sore jaw.

"Undoubtably." Treize had a satisfied smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The site that greeted Trowa and Wufei was an amusing one. Heero was dripping wet and sat in the middle of the pond, glaring at Duo. Duo, of course, was going convulsive fits of laughter. Quatre, in an apparent attempt to get Heero out of the water, had fallen in herself and was now trying to wring out her closes. Wufei snickered and Trowa merely shook her head.

"You two are impossible." Trowa helped Heero up.

"No, you mean she's," Heero pointed to Duo, "is impossible." Trowa extended her hand to Quatre, and helped her up.

"No. I meant both of you," Trowa retorted calmly. Heero stuck out his in a very un-princely manner.

"I swear, you are like a child sometimes," spoke Duo triumphantly.

"You're no better!" chide Wufei. Duo rubbed the back of her head and gave a cheeky smile. For the rest of the after noon the five simple enjoyed each others company, sitting and getting to know Heero better. The girl soon found that they had more in common with him then they thought. Eventually they had to go in for dinner. Every thing had been going smoothly until...

"Announcing her Highness, the princess of Germany, Princess Relena!" All heads snapped up at the sound of the girls name. All except Heero's, who was busy trying to eat rice with chopsticks. Zechs and Treize who were also seated at the table smirk at the looks on the other girls faces. Suddenly a girl with dirty blonde hair strolled into the room. She wore a puffy pink Victorian style dress, which made her look three sizes bigger than she actually was, a red sash and a crown (1). She smiled slyly as she walked over to Heero, who still hadn't noticed her. She cough several times to get his attention. He was either deaf, or he was ignoring her, neither of which she liked.

"Excuse me," she said calmly smiling. Heero continued to pick st the rice. Duo snickered and whispered to Quatre.

"How long do think it will take her to figure out he has ear plugs in his ears."

"About as long as it will take for him to realize that she's there." The two giggled until Trowa looked at them disapprovingly from her position next to Heero, then they quickly resumed their stoic. 'Dits,' Trowa thought solemnly as she looked at Relena and Heero again. She sighed. Finally she tapped Heero on the shoulder, getting his attention, and point at Relena.

"What?" he asked pulling the right ear plug out of his ear. Relena gasped, Trowa shook her head, and Duo, Quatre, and Wufei were sent into fits of laughter at that point. Trowa smiled to herself. 'Sure Treize, real competition.'

  
  


1: Think queen Relena (shudders)

  
  


Lady: And so end another chapter.

Trowa: That wasn't so horrible now was it?

Heero: You have a point.

Quatre: Hey where's Wufei?

(gargling noises come from the bath room)

Lady: Answers that question...

Wufei: (coming out of the bathroom) Why did you let him do that?

Lady: (plays innocent) Who do what?

Wufei: Don't plat dumb with --

Relena: Oh Heero...!

Heero: Dear God...

Relena: There you are! (glomps Heero) I missed you so much Hee-chan!

Heero: (twitches) Let me go!

Wufei: What is that weak onna doing here?!

Trowa: Why can't you kill her like you did last time?

Lady: (shrugs) She's important to the plot.

Trowa: Damn...

Lady: (get evil smirk) Oh, miss Relena... I have something for you...

Relena: (lets go of Heero who hides under a near by desk) What? What? What?

Lady: Come closer so I can give it to you. (Relena steps toward her) Closer (another step closer) Closer still.

Relena: (is one foot from LD) What is it?

Lady: (ties Relena up in a Christmas colored straight jacket and tapes her mouth shut with Christmas duck tape) There.( Dust off hand) That should hold you until we need you.

Relena: *mumbles something*

  
  


R/R please. I promise to be nice to Relena...... NOT!


	4. Test 1

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Lady: I know it's been like nine months since I updated this story

Heero: Which monstrosity are you working on now?

Lady: Guess

Rowen: The untitled one?

Lady: No

Seto: Royal Pains

Lady: Exact-a-Mundo

Heero: Does that mean we have to let Relena out of the tape?

Lady: Unfortunately...

Seto: Damn. There goes my only source of amusement

Lady: We could always tie Tea/Anzu up.

Seto: Nah. Then I'd have to listen to all her dumb speeches

Tea/Anzu fans: Hey!

Lady: Anyway. I don't own Gundam Wing, though I wished I at least owned Trowa or Heero

Heero: O_o

Trowa: ///_O

Lady: I love doing that to them... RECAP!

Rowen: In chapter 3, Trowa and Quatre were turned into girls, and Zechs and Treize got hit my women. Am I forgetting something?

Lady: Not that I know of.

Relena: *whimpers*

Lady Oh yeah...(takes tape off Relena's mouth)

Relena: *whining* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Lady: (re-tapes Relena's mouth) We'll just leave that on until you have to speak.

Relena: *pouts*

Everyone else: And now for something completely different... A man with three buttocks.

Quatre: He tried to sit and fell though a hole in the floor.

Lady: (shrugs) Anyway, and now for something completely different, a man with three buttocks.

Everyone else: We already did that!

Lady: Oops.

Royal Pains

Ch. 4: Test one-Compassion

        Heero walked through the hall quickly. He had finally gotten out of his cast, and was putting that to good use. He had had it. He was fed up with women, everywhere he looked he saw women. Women to the left of him, women to the right of him, women in front of him, women behind him! Any normal man would have thought it was heaven, but not Heero. It was enough to drive him insane. What made things worse was that the ones he wanted to be around, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo, were no where to be found, and the most annoying one of the lot, Relena, was like his shadow. This brought Heero into his present situation.

            He looked though doors and windows, looking for any sign of his way ward friends/ possible fiancé's. He'd already checked the library, kitchen, garden, their rooms, and various rooms around the palace. He sighed. He had pretty much given up hope, when he felt a slim hand on his shoulder. He jumped and instinctively twisted the wrist of the person only to turn and find Quatre holding her wrist and crying. Mortified with himself he held Quatre and tried to soothe the ache in her wrist.

            "I'm sorry," he whispered gently. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Quatre had stopped crying and the other had come out of hiding to see what had happened.

            "Are you okay, Quatre?" Trowa asked looking into Quatre's face. Quatre shook her head. Trowa looked up and glared at Heero. "I think you've done enough, Monsieur Yuy." She said coldly pulling Quatre away. She and the other turned to leave, but Heero wasn't having it. He had spent three days looking for them, and was not about to let them go back into hiding just like that. Walking up behind Trowa, he turned her around, plucked Quatre from her and cared Quatre toward that infirmary. Quatre was shocked and wasn't sure what was going on. She looked to Trowa, Wufei, and Duo behind her and Heero. Trowa smiled and nodded. Quatre was reassured by this and put her arms around Heero's neck. She leaned on him and closed her eyes.

            "Are you sure it's okay to leave her and Heero alone?" Wufei ask

            "He passed the first test," Trowa nodded. "Barely anyway."

            "What are the odds of him passing the rest?" Duo asked peering over Trowa's shoulder at Heero and Quatre.

            "I'd say pretty good."

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            Heero sat Quatre down on the bed and began to examine her wrist. "It's only sprained, nothing too serious," Heero dug though the draw next to the bed. "Is this the hand you write with?" he asked, bandaging the wrist slowly and gently. Quatre nodded. "Just don't use it too much, or else you'll make it worse. They're all done." He finished pulling back to look at the raps. Quatre held her wrist and looked at it, than up at Heero.

            "Thank you," Quatre smiled sweetly. Heero couldn't tell what it was, but there was something that the four girls, he had befriended, weren't telling him. Quatre closed her leaned close to Heero. Heero unconsciously leaned closer as well. They continue to get closer to each other until they were millimeters apart. It was then that Heero realized what was going to happen. He turned to his head just as they were about to kiss. "What's wrong?" Quatre asked obviously hurt by this.

            "Please, don't take this as rejection," Heero pushed Quatre way by her shoulders. "But I can't.... kiss you...just yet. I'm-I'm still trying to sort out my feelings for you and your friends. Please, I really like you, so please don't disappear again. I've been miserable without you and the others." Instead of the slap across the cheek he was expecting, he felt lips press against his cheek. He blinked and looked at Quatre who had a smile on her face. "You're not angry?" he asked, confusion thick in his voice.

            "My-mm," She stands and starts to exit the room.

            "Wait!" he yells before she can leave the room.

  


            "What? I'm waiting for you," she asked. Heero blinked again. Getting up, he followed Quatre back to the hall where she had scared him. Once there, Quatre pressed her ear to the wall and rapped on it lightly, than step forward a little. She repeated that until she was a good way from where she started. She started to push again the wall as if trying to move it. Being the gentleman that he was, he scooted Quatre a side, and pushed the wall himself. He wasn't quite sure what the purpose of it was but he did it anyway. And his hard work was not in vane, for after a few minutes of pushing; the wall gave way with a reverberating whoosh. Unfortunately this move left Heero flat on his face at someone's feet. Looking up, he peered into sparkling emerald eyes. It was Trowa

            "I know I'm pretty, Heero," the girl taunted. "But you don't half to worship the ground I walk on." Heero decided it was safer not to reply to that, and bit his tongue. "Oh, come now. Don't be a spoiled sport." She grinned extending her hand to him. He took it and stood. Looking around, he realized that Quatre was behind Trowa and that the walled had closed up.

            "Where are we?" he asked studying the old cobble stonewalls.

            "This is one of the hidden passages in the palace," stated Wufei, emerging from the shadows, into the torchlight. "They were used in times of emergency, when the royal family had to escape." Wufei touch the wall affectionately. "I used to play in here looking for rats, or something to play with."

            "That's gross Fei!" Screeched Duo in disgust, a few feet away. "Rat's are filthy creatures."

            "Bats are it no better," Heero snorted, "they're rats with wings!" He could almost see the scowl on Duo's face. Once his laughter subsided, Heero looked around again. "So this is where you four have been hiding?"

            "Yes and no," Trowa shrugged. "Let's go." Trowa started down the dimly light tunnel toward a bright shimmering light at the other end.

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            Unbeknownst to the people in the tunnel, they had been watched. Not only had Heero been looking for the girls, but Treize and Zechs as well. Relena had been with them, since there was a good chance that, where the girls were, so was Heero. They had seen every thing; Heero wandering the halls, him twisting Quatre's arm and him taking her to bandage it, the wall opening, the whole thing. Treize sneered.

            "Do you think that, that's where they've been hiding?"

            "I can believe he did that!" Relena was fuming. "I almost break my ankle and he doesn't care or even notice, while she sprains her wrist and get cared, lovingly I might add, into the infirmary! It makes me sick!"

            "It's no wonder he doesn't like you!" Zechs shouted. "If you stopped whining so much  and hanging all over him, he'd give you the time of day!" his face fell when he realized at his sister wasn't listening to him. She was too absorbed in her only little world to hear a thing he'd said. Zechs threw his hands up in defeat. "I give up."

            By this time Treize was at the wall, tapping it lightly, repeating Quatre's actions exactly. He tapped until he heard a hollow sound on the other side. He began to push in the door until it gave way. "So that's how it's done," he spoke analytically.

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            Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, and Duo turned to the loud groan of the stonewall. "What was that?" Duo cringed. She shivered, and hugged herself tightly. "It's sounded like a monster..." She whimpered.

            "Damn it, Duo" Wufei cursed. "We've been going up and down this tunnel for three weeks! You know damn well that there are no monsters in here."

            "Then what was that noise?!" she scolds. Trowa shushed them and turned an ear toward the other end of the fall. She heard three voices

            "Ewww! It's so dingy in here!" screeched a female voice

            "Oh, get over it, Relena, "called a male voice

            "Yes, quite being such an infant about every thing," called a second, deeper male voice. Trowa cursed under her breath.

            "Shit! We've got to hurry! Zechs, Treize, and Relena have found the entrance!" She hurried Heero, Quatre and Duo down the hall.

            "What about you two?" Duo asked halting in her exit.

            "We'll keep them busy," Wufei smiled cruelly. "Besides, we're the only ones, other than you and Quatre, that can open the gate. Now, go!" And with that Quatre and Heero ran down the hall, but Duo stayed.

            "Trowa," glared darkly at the other end of the tunnel. "You go in my place. You know more about the crystals then any of us, and Quatre and Heero need you to guide them." Trowa nodded her understanding. She didn't like it, but she knew she had to do it. Taking one last look at Wufei and Duo, she sprinted down the hall to catch up with Heero and Quatre. With a sigh Duo turned to Wufei "You and I, both know we are going to get in so much trouble for this, right?"

            "Yeah," Wufei huffed, "but it will be worth it in the end." The two watched at Treize, Zechs and Relena approached them.

BC...

Lady: That was-

Quatre: Painful. (holds wrist) Did you have to do that so hard?

Heero: Gomen (kisses Quatre's wrist)

Quatre: (beams)

Relena: Heero, you don't love that little blonde fruitcake more than me, do you?

Trowa: Relena, Heero loves anything more that he loves you. (hits her with baseball bat)

Relena: @.@

Heero: o_o

Quatre: o.o

Trowa: And that's for calling Quatre a fruitcake.

Lady: (((.~ (pokes Relena with stick) WOOT! She's out. 

Duo: Now lets hope she stays that way.

Wufei: (to Seto) How long do you think she'll stay out?

Seto: I give her three weeks at the least.

Lady: I have no idea how to classify this story now...

Seto: Try disturbed authoresses

Lady: Don't get smart.

Seto: Too late, I'm already a genius.

Lady: Just ask.

Seto: Review please. Thought I don't know why she bothers, no body reads this crap anyway.

Lady: ANYWAY!!! What kind of plans does do Treize and Zechs have in store for our girl?        What will happen to Wufei and Duo? Why have the girls been hiding in a tunnel? What are the crystals Duo's talking about? And will Relena ever stop whining? (Probably not) I don't even know what's going to happen next, and it's my story!! Be sure and Stay tuned for chapter 5: Test Two-______

Heero: Can't get any worse...


End file.
